Archive | October 2016

I miss you Little Toot

My pet crab -Little Toot

He can barely be seen. Little Toot is the size of a pencil eraser in this photo. He’s next to the big rock to the left. I raised him until he was the size of a fifty cent piece. He then disappeared. I literally bonded with this crab and vice versa.  He’s a marble rock crab or rather was.  I adored him.  He brought so much joy into my life in such a short while. Yes, we  played. He was right there every night ready to play when I got home.  He ate from my hand. He could have pinched me really hard when he got bigger, but he never did.  He was a lot like a cat.  As intelligent too.Nosy about everything I did in his tank.  He would be right there in the way whether I was cleaning or rearranging.  I ended up purchasing him a 20 gallon tank so he would have plenty of room to roam and explore.  He ate my $35 shrimp lol. That was when he was older.He was so cute. I don’t think the pain of losing him will ever go away. My eyes still brim with tears and that weird feeling appears in my chest.  He hit puberty and went looking for a mate.  Damn hormones.  I’ll never stop loving him. I’ll never stop missing him.  When he left he took a piece of my heart with him.


My Ex: The Narcissist Checklist

If you are involved with a person that has these traits listed, RUN! I beg you! RUN!

Besides this list below, my ex also carried a picture of himself in his wallet, and constantly had his face in the mirror. He was and probably still in love with himself.  He was heavy into porn, and loved to cause trouble at work between his coworkers. They hadn’t  a clue he was the one setting them up.


Expected Response – None

Butthead never responded to the Diocese. He ignored every letter. I’m fine with that.  The annulment will take longer,but  it will happen eventually. They realized he was playing games. At least his poor mum talked with them.  She did not have to do that. I feel so sorry for her. She is married to a narcissist, and her son is a narcissist. She doesn’t want to acknowledge it and continues to this day taking abuse from her husband and thinking her son is the golden boy.

I still shudder when I think of what he did to his own Mother’s chickens. He hung all of her hens from the clothesline and slit their throats when she was gone one day. ~SMH~ He was a little kid at that time.

Her son isn’t any different. I found out after the divorce he was killing our farm animals constantly out of joy and fury. What a sick son of a bitch.

It amazes me where I find narcissists. I am surrounded by them. They are where I work, at church, everywhere! The ones that talk non-stop about themselves drive me crazy. On and on and on they go. When they will stop, nobody knows. I watched one person get up and leave after this one narcissist would not shut up.

My Dave, the poor man. He forgot he was given an annulment by the church to his evil ex-wife.  He still doesn’t remember it even though we have the letter. I have to face it; he has Alzheimers. I pray I’m wrong. He can’t remember anything majorly significant.  I love this man, and I will lose him.  I can only hope the Alzheimer’s is slow. We have crappy doctors here. This stuff is as bad as cancer. It eats away your brain. Maybe there are some trial treatments out there?

Hello! Longtime No Me!

Yep, it has been a while. I’ve been so busy dealing with everyday life. Plus my fish, RCIA, and work.  No, the annulments have not yet gone through, Well I take that back. One has.  My husband’s last sociopathic ex-wife. The one who has been remarried over, and over, and over since their divorce. Oh yes, and she ended up in prison for being a prostitute in Kenai & Nikiski posing as a masseuse lol. That annulment went through lickety split.

The other ex-wife of his, as it turns out,  was never Catholic. Anyhow, he and I are still waiting on our annulments. I may end up still attending RCIA through next year if they don’t happen soon. Mind you, I enjoy learning, and Catholicism is fascinating; however, I want to go deeper than what RCIA is teaching. I haven’t a lot of time as it is to delve deeper on my own. I am attending a Bible class once a week too. We are studying the book of Acts, and it is exciting. Those Apostles are amazing. All but John end up dying, and they died for their beliefs. Paul got stoned twice so far. How he survived that is beyond me!

I got a new fish. A wee little neon goby. Bless its heart. It had ich. It was so sick. It’s still in quarantine for two more weeks.  It has perked way up, and so far no ich since I did the container switch method. Hopefully, it doesn’t break out again. It’s a cutie. I’ve been feeding it live brine shrimp. Tonight she surprised me. I dropped in some flakes for the two tiny hermit crabs I have in her tank  to keep her company.  She was on those flakes scarfing away. First time ever!  She is swimming every where too, and she is no longer in hiding. Yay!

I have my second 20 gallon set up. I have the tank to turn into a sump for it too, but just haven’t had the energy nor the time.  The protein skimmer is in to add to it.  I just have to do it. Maybe this weekend. We will see.I’m exhausted. I have to go to the grocery store tomorrow. Dave won’t go by himself now, that is if he can help it.He gets confused so easily. I looked at him hard the other day. He has lost so much weight. He looks so frail. It made me realize that I won’t have that awesome man in my life forever. I love him so much. In fact, more and more every day. I can’t imagine my life without him. So I’m trying to fatten him up. He needs to gain some weight. That last knee surgery really wore him down.

Someone stole my crayons today.~Grrr~ A young woman had a disabled person with her and asked if she could borrow them to keep her entertained, while she was  there to be advised or something. (I work for a university) So stupid me, I said yes, and she promised to return them. Ha! I kept  crayons to entertain the wee ones while the parents come for academic advising. The big plastic animals for toddlers to play with that I had there walked off too. ~sigh~ I know who took those. That woman thinks everything belongs to her, and there is no reasoning with her. Tomorrow I’ll go to Value Village and see if I can’t get some things  for the children and a bag to put them in.I’ll definitely put my name on everything this time.

I did have fun decorating a vase today in hopes that when the  little sign is read on it, people will make donations to the Goodie Fund. They love eating the goodies, so hopefully a few more will see the fancy donation jar and pitch in.Mind you I love making students happy, but being an admin  for a university, I’m not paid a lot.  I do what I can though.  I like seeing the students smiling, and staff & faculty too.

It’s 7:18 pm, and I’m off to bed. It’s been a hard week.

Sweet dreams. kj